A Year of Jake's Funnies (AKA Jakeisms)

1/16/21

Jake: Dad, since you and mom do things for me, does that make you my servants?

1/17/21

Jake: I just want to be alone, but there are people in Every. Single. Room. In this whole house!!

1/20/21

Jake: Every day! Every single day you make me flush the toilet!!

1/22/21

Watching a movie where they said, “hot chick.”

Jake: Hot chick (giggles).

Me: That means “pretty girl.”

Jake: (Disappointed face)

1/25/21

Jake: You know, Max doesn’t talk much. Maybe he just doesn’t have anything to say (Max is our dog).

1/26/21

Jason: How did you open this medicine bottle Jake; these are not for you!

Jake: (Shrugs) I just read the directions on top of the lid and followed them.

(Downside of a young reader!)

1/31/21

Jake: (Coming in from playing in the snow) There is a speck of water in my back and it won’t bug out of there.

2/2/21

Jake: You know how to take care of sick people, mom. You give them love and sleep.

2/4/21

Jake: I feel like I’ve been a little kid for so long... I’m a little worried I’ll be a little kid forever.

2/5/21

Jake: Mom, I've been waiting ALL DAY to play with you (it was 10am).

2/16/21

Jake: Mom, remember a long time ago we used to go places.

2/17/21

Jake: I'm just going to do what I do best.

Me: What's that?

Jake: Love.

2/20/21

Jake: Reading a book is a good way to pass the time.

3/22/21

Jake was getting his hair cut, and a man stopped on his way out to tell me how much he enjoyed listening to my son chat with his stylist. I was sitting too far away to hear what he said, but the time before I was close enough to hear Jake ask her what her favorite song was, tell her his was Duck Tales, and when she said she didn’t know that one he sang it for her. He also invited her to come play at our house not once, but twice, during the cut. So I can imagine what he was saying on this visit. I love that Jake brings people joy!

3/26/21

Jake: I don't think ghosts speak English. I think they speak monsterish.

3/28/21

Jake: This shirt just suits me perfectly (it had a huge shark on it).

4/10/21

Jake: This is a zombie cheerleader. Mom, that's a CHEERLEADER who is...a zombie!!

4/15/21

Jake (has been asking me to come play with him and I finally settle myself on the floor to do so): Mom, you can just watch while I do something cool.

4/16/21

Jake often tags along with me on quick RS visits. When we left one the other day he said, “You know, I actually liked her!”

4/19/21

I found the following note on my dresser:

I Like skiTLs’

I Lik Legos’

BuT mosT oF aLL’

I Like YOU!

Jake

4/22/21

Jake: I really like that you help me with the things that are too hard for me to do by myself. Thanks mom.

4/28/21

Jake: Mom, you should try and think about how other people feel and do things that would make them happy.

4/30/21

Jake created his own board game called "Escape the Hotel" where every room (space on the board) had scary things you wouldn't want to be around. Some examples were the Ghost Room, the Lava Pit, the Broken Escalator room, and so on. My favorite was the Chompy Room that had an alligator, snakes, and vampires trying to get you

5/2/21

Aunt Emily: Jake was so good with baby Evalena.

Jake: I was just kind to her. That’s not hard.

5/4/21

Jake: Why are they such weird words? They should be what they sound like. (Commentary on the complexity of spelling)

5/5/21

Jake: Can I have a snack?

Me: Sure, do you want some goldfish?

Jake: Can I just have a salad?

Me: Uh, sure (he does love vegetables, but really?).

Jake: YES!!!

5/7/21

Jake to me: You like chocolate and books?! I like chocolate and books!!! It’s like we’re twins!

5/9/21

Jake helping me bake: Mom, I haven’t been a chef lately because I’ve been busy being an author.

5/11/21

Jake: Mom, guess what I just did in the bathroom? I washed my hands. You’re welcome.

5/12/21

Jake: I'm so thankful for words, because I like talking to you.

5/17/21

Jake: Mom, pick a story to read with me.

Me: (We'll call the story options A-Z for simplicity's sake) P.

Jake: Um, no, let's not do that one.

Me: OK, you pick a few choices for me and I'll pick one of those.

Jake: OK, A, Q or Z.

Me: Q

Jake: Actually, let's do Z.

Me: So, you just wanted to give me the appearance of choice, but not actually let me choose, hu?

Jake: No, you get to choose! Pick one.

Me: Z.

Jake: Great choice.

5/19/21

Jake: When I was little I thought “change my mind” meant I needed to put a new brain in my head.

5/26/21

Me: Do you know who the President of the United States is?

Jake: General Nelson.

5/28/21

Me: Jake time to get dressed.

Jake: Arg! You always tell me I have to do all these things like I’ll die if I don’t or something!

5/30/21

Jake: What do you like about church?

Me: I like the songs and taking the sacrament.

Jake: Me too. I also really like the end, when we get to leave.

6/5/21

Jake: I’m going read in my brain, you know so it’s quiet, so you can have some peace. I’m a nice boy.

6/11/21

Jake: I'm going to everything I can to stay alive my whole life!

6/13/21

Jake to Jason: Will you ever die?

Jason: Sure at some point.

Jake: I didn’t think bald people could die!!!

6/18/21

Jake: I just really like it when people are happy.

6/21/21

Jake: I just love screens. I feel like I always need to be in front of one.

6/27/21

Jake: I really like taking the sacrament.

Me: (Proud moment.)

Jake: It’s like a yummy little snack!

Me: (Proud moment over.)

6/28/21

Jake: Wouldn't it be funny if baby teeth wore diapers?

8/3/21

Jake: Good morning! What shall we do to start our good day?

8/15/21

Me: Jake! Are you ignoring me?!

Jake: YES!!

8/29/21

Jake: I’m chatting a lot right now, so I’m going to stop for a bit. I’ll count to 100 in my head. Starting now.

9/19/21

The other day I woke up to find this note on my side of my closed bedroom door: "Dear Mom, I hope you had a good time sleeping. When you come downstairs, I'll ask you how to spell words. -Jake"

9/22/21

(Jake wearing a shirt that says it's his lucky shirt)

Me: Is it going to be a lucky day?

Jake: Every day is lucky for me!

10/1/21

Jake: (Randomly) I think toilets are hilarious.

10/3/21

Jake has decided he wants to be a hotdog for Halloween!

10/10/21

Jake: I REALLY loved getting a happy meal from McDonalds. It was very special. We should do that again on another special day, like for dinner on Christmas.

11/5/21

Jake: Do you want to know a secret?

Me: Yes!

Jake: Ella is my girlfriend.

Me: Oh, really? What do you do together that makes her your girlfriend?

Jake: Well, we make books together and that’s really it.

Me: Does Ella know she’s your girlfriend?

Jake: …I THINK so….

11/7/21

Jake: Mom, just be normal!

11/11/21

Jake: Mom, here’s a tip: you snore kind of loud, which people don’t like, so you should really try not to snore any more.

11/16/21

Jake: These days I treat rain like lava. I really don't like rain.

11/19/21

Jake: In my mind I know I should be nice, but sometimes my brain tells me to be mean. So sometimes I’m just mean.

12/2/21

We drove to North Carolina for Thanksgiving (and had so much fun!)

Pull out of our driveway at 7:13am

Jake (at 7:17am) Are we stopping soon yet?

12/7/21

Jake: Can I do (something)? Here's a tip: just say yes.

12/27/21

Jason: That’s the Sears Tower. It was once the tallest building in the world.

Jake: Wow! And then they probably just chopped some of it off, so now it's not.

Visits

My cute parents came for a visit in November. We love having them here and loved getting to see them four different times this year (us to see them twice and them to see us twice)! They also stopped by our house twice at Christmas time (once before and once after) on their way to Andrew's house. I could get used to this! 

Korrali got to come too in November, lucky us!

Two Teeth

Jake has finally lost his first, and second, tooth! One morning before school his first tooth fell out over breakfast with his dad (who was pleased to be there for a lost tooth for maybe the first time ever), and then later that day at school he lost a SECOND tooth! I was subbing in a nearby first grade classroom, so Jake's teacher let him come give the tooth to me for safe-keeping, and you can imagine the pandemonium that resulted ("I've lost three teeth!" "Jake what are you doing here?" "This is your SON?!" "Do you want to see my wiggly tooth?" etc). The Tooth Fairy had a heavy load from our house that night! A fun last first.

Winter Band Concerts

We got to attend two winter band concerts for these awesome teens; one for Ali's Jazz band where she plays keyboard, and one for their 8th grade band where Logan is the only tenor saxophone player and Ali pays clarinet. They are getting so good! They've both decided to keep playing in High School, so it will be fun to see them continue to progress.

Piano Recital

We've really enjoyed having my friend Josette teach these three piano lessons. They have all come a long way in the nine months since they started with her. She put on a recital for all of her students (us and another family of three sisters). They all had been working on fun Christmas songs and did so great. 

Ali learned a pretty version of "Oh, Holy Night," for the recital and Josette asked her if she's be willing to play it in sacrament meeting too. She (reluctantly) agreed and played it so beautifully. I love listening to my kids play the piano!

Santa's in Town

We had scheduled vaccine appointments for Jake and Eli, but that morning they canceled them for some unknown reason. So we decided to go to a drop in clinic I'd heard about. Two and a half hours later (!!) we were vaccinated and boosted and a bit annoyed with life. But on our way out we found SANTA! He must have read my mind that I hadn't taken Jake to see him yet this year, and would need to fit it in somewhere the week of Christmas (with all the lines that would mean), and decided to do me a favor and drop by! Jake was happy to chat with him for a minute and I was happy to check that off my list. Thanks, Santa.

Rubix Cube

Eli has mastered solving a 2x2 rubix cube! Bring on the bigger ones!

Christmas decorations

It's always fun to see what Evie and Mistletoe come up with each season. 

And one of Jake's favorite things to do is play with the people from our village under the tree. 

Christmas is the best.

Christmas Church

Last year we found a church in the area that puts on a really fun Christmas celebration, and we were excited to go again this year. They have a cool laser show, carriage and wagon rides, animals to pet, delicious hot chocolate and treats, stockings to stuff for charities, a live nativity, and caroling. It was a really good time.

Ella

Jake came home from school one day and told me a secret: Ella was his girlfriend. I asked what kinds of things they liked to do together, and he said they mostly liked to make "Reuben Books" (Rueben is Ella's dog and there have been many, MANY, books written about his adventures). I asked Jake if Ella knew she was his girlfriend, and he said, "I THINK so..." He and I then talked about the fact that he shouldn't actually have a girlfriend until he is at least 16 years old. I told him that it was ok to be best friends and for her to be really special to him, but not his girlfriend. He asked if, when they are both 16, if he still knows her, could they THEN be boyfriend and girlfriend? I told him yes. 

He was very excited when I told him we could send her mom a note suggesting a play date. Her mom got back to me and we set something up. It was the best day ever when Ella came over and they two of them, no surprise, spent most of their time making Reuben books.

When we connected, Ella's mom sent me a picture of this note that Jake gave Ella at school one day! Clearly, their family is getting as big a kick out of this relationship as we are.

Birthday Dinner

At least a month after his birthday, we finally got together with Amy's family to celebrate Eli's birthday. We are grateful to have their family near us.

Refugees

The Stakes in our area partnered up with Catholic Charities in Illinois to gather donations to 180 Afghan Refugee families that were scheduled to be relocated in Southern Illinois later this month. Some stakes were asked to collect winter gear, furniture, kitchen supplies, and other needed goods. Our stake was asked to collect baby items.

Our Bishop asked me if I knew someone in our ward we should make the point person for our ward, and I just volunteered myself. The situation in Afghanistan really tugged at my heart, and I was happy to have a concrete way to help. It was heartwarming to see all the donations that came at this busy, expensive time of year. I was humbled to see both those with plenty of means donate a lot and those with very limited means donate what they could. About 20 families in our ward donated the following items: 25 boxes of diapers (in 8 different sizes, equaling about 2,700 diapers), 10 pack and plays with several sheet sets, 12 boxes of wipes (totaling 74 packages in all), more than 200 bottles of pain medications, and more than 40 bottles of baby soaps and shampoos. 

I loved dropping all of the items off at the stake center and being able to see 6 of 10 wards' worth of donations. What a blessing this will be to those families. What a blessing it was for me to be a part of it.

Cell Phone

We got a new "home phone" cell phone. It is a lot easier to navigate and text on, so Ali added a bunch of her friends to the contacts, and has more or less taken it over as her own!